What therapy is NOT:

1. Life coaching ("I know better than you, so I will help you achieve your goals")

Therapy works best when there is no obvious power dynamics between therapist and client. A therapist does not know how you should live your life better than you do. Therapists will work to edit your lifestyle in the way YOU want it to look. Not how they THINK it should look.

2. Prescribing medication and sending you on your way

The professionals licensed to prescribe medication to you are MD's (medical doctors), PA's (physician assistants), APRN's (psychiatric nurses), and some Ph. D's (psychologists). Medication is a helpful tool to assist with balancing and stabilizing an individual's emotional state, and these practitioners are typically only interested in understanding physical symptoms, not the root cause of an individual's challenges. Medication works best WHEN PAIRED WITH therapy. Medication alone can be helpful, but not incredibly optimal if an individual is looking for authentic improvement.

3. Advice giving ("Here's what I would do in YOUR situation")

Therapists work alongside their client to assist them in achieving their goals. Therapists do not offer advice from their own personal experiences. Each therapist brings with them into therapy their own professional and personal ideologies and theories of change. However they should not use their own personal lives as a means of providing advice. What works for the therapist is what works for them, not for an outside individual with a different perspective.

4. A time for only gossiping and venting ("SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!?")

Let me be clear here - venting is unloading emotions and thoughts with no real intention to change behavior. Venting is at times necessary under the right circumstances. However, therapy is not meant for emotionally dumping on an individual. It's a complex conversation with a therapist who challenges an individual's thoughts and perceptions while simultaneously problem-solving.

5. An opportunity for someone else to shame you into doing something different ("If you don't do XYZ well then you're just not trying hard enough")

In order for therapy to be truly effective, the therapist will need to be a person who coaches and encourages an individual to try different strategies and consider alternative perceptions. This should and needs to come from a place of compassion, lack of judgment, and understanding. Authentic change cannot occur if it is motivated by shame and guilt. For example, when is the last time a child stopped crying because their parents told them to do so in a harsh and accusatory manner? ("If you don't stop your crying this instant, I'll give you something to cry about!!!" "Ugh, YOU'RE SO EMOTIONAL" *cue more crying and snot*) It doesn't work for children, and it doesn't work for adults either.

6. A judgmental, biased place to discuss your deepest darkest secrets

This concept piggy-backs off the previous paragraph. A seasoned and well-rounded therapist will have done their own therapeutic work to understand how their own perceptions, opinions, and worldview impact the therapeutic process with their clients. A therapist engaging in therapy from a judgmental and biased point-of-view, will do little with clients to motivate change. It is extremely important that a therapist be mindful that everyone is different and everyone has different opinions. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all intervention. It should be tailored to each individuals' separate needs.

7. The one-stop quick fix where the therapist solves all your problems for you

One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that an individual can go to a licensed professional who will magically solve all their problems. This cannot be farther from the truth. I cannot sugarcoat this concept, and I need to emphasize that therapy takes consistent effort and commitment from the individual. A therapist meets with someone sometimes as little as one-hour per month and up to one-hour per week, making that approximately 4 hours a month (I knew math class would payoff someday). Individuals live the overwhelming majority of their lives outside of session, so therefore it is up to the individual to use the strategies and tools provided to them BETWEEN SESSIONS in order to make the most of therapy.

What therapy truly IS:

1. A non-judgmental, non-biased space to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors

Therapy sessions typically last 50 minutes, and it is within this time that I will work with you to understand your point of view. It is during this time that we will work together to explore where these thoughts, emotions, and behaviors originate, and whether or not they are truly serving you well by providing you the life you wish to live. Each therapist handles the therapeutic process differently depending on their theory of change and frankly, personality. My style is strategic, collaborative, client-centered, and trauma-focused when necessary. See my "About Me" page for more information.

2. A space for a qualified professional to assist you with identifying skills that will enhance YOUR life, not theirs

Because I have done extensive therapeutic work on myself, whether that was in therapy or through a rigorous supervision process, I know that no matter what, the therapist is always bringing some version of themselves into the problem-solving process of handling clients. We are not robots, we are human, and this is just a fact of the therapeutic process. I do not take this lightly, and the best professionals agree. My only concern as your therapist is to ensure that we are working towards the goals YOU want, in a manner that YOU are comfortable

3. Chances to explore the experiences that formed your opinions of yourself and the world

My theory of change with clients originates from the belief that our childhood development and upbringing is a pivotal factor in our emotional and mental functioning as teens and adults. When we are born, the only instruction manual we have is observing our parents (their relationship, how they interact with one another and others, their habits, the way they handle emotion, how they communicate etc). We are essentially given a blueprint of how to live and be human. Most people without self-awareness typically engage in life on autopilot, without a proper understanding of the experiences in their lives that formed their beliefs, behaviors, emotional reactions, values, and opinions. When we don't understand our history, we cannot make educated and informed future decisions about our behavior and emotions. This is why therapy can enhance one's life and make it that much more fulfilling. When we know why, we can assertively live our lives making these educated decisions regarding how behave, think, and feel.

4. The process of creating goals with your therapist who then will assist you with meeting those goals

Therapy is a service for the CLIENT and them ONLY. I will meet with you to discuss the mental health-related challenges you are experiencing and will work with you to identify what your goals in life are. While I might have some opinions about how to live a fulfilling life, my opinion on the subject matter is irrelevant. Maybe you want to be more motivated, maybe you are emotionally exhausted, maybe you're sick of being irritable with your spouse. Whatever the end result is, I will work with you to identify and explore what changes would need to be made in order for you, the client, to feel like therapy is effective and WORTH IT. Once goals have been identified, objectives to meeting those goals will then be identified as well.

5. An interactive tool used differently by individuals depending on THEIR needs

I think the majority of people who have never had therapy believe that it is nothing like going to a regular doctor. While yes, therapists do not assess bloodwork or manage physical ailments, what we do is quite similar. When someone begins the therapeutic process, the therapist will assess for symptoms (ie "When did they start?", "What do the symptoms look like?" etc) and identify a diagnosis that will highlight the behaviors and emotions that the client is struggling with. When someone is diagnosed with something from a medical doctor, there also can sometimes be more than one treatment plan. If I have a runny nose, I can take medicine, use a dehumidifier, get plenty of rest, but not every person who has a cold has to engage in these practices to get well. The same goes for clients in therapy. What will help one person may not help another, and so it is my job as your therapist to help troubleshoot the best strategies and interventions so that you achieve your desired result. The point is that you try something to assess if it works, and I will assist you in troubleshooting.

Trying therapy for the first time can be intimidating and overwhelming if you've never been to a session, don't know what to expect, or have had a bad experience in the past with therapy. I'm here to say I get it, and it is my job as your therapist to ensure that the therapy experience becomes one you can trust and rely on to see the change you want to see in your life.